The road to recovery

I am recovering slowly but surely. I ended up having strep throat and ever since I was in hospital with rheumatic fever years and years ago when I was at boarding school, it just knocks me on my ass. I had another trip to hospital when I was in uni even though I thought I was only a bit sick and when I woke up on Wednesday morning, I couldn't even lift a glass of water to my mouth, my joints were so swollen. So it seems like I am getting sicker, faster, every time. Yesterday I had a list of things to do but ended up falling asleep on the sofa and I didn't wake until Ella started yelling for me three hours later. I didn't actually realize until doing a quick google search for home remedies (for rheumatic fever. Ummm, I think my confidence in the internet is a bit exaggerated...) that it can be really serious. I thought it just made you have stiff joints. Oops. Better to be safe than sorry- next time I guess I'll go to the doctor straight away. Have decided that I am keeping all activity and stress at an absolute minimum until I really feel better. I feel a bit like a Victorian lady with the vapors, draped across my chaise longue. Note to self: stock up on smelling salts and poetry for full effect.

Its a shame that Ella's birthday is this Saturday. I had thought I would have a party for her but there is no way that I can take that on right now. Luckily, B talked to his parents and said that maybe we would come to visit them this weekend. We can have cake and a present or two at their house making up for having spent Christmas with my family and at the same time giving me an excellent excuse for not organizing something here with the playgroup kids. Win, win.

We booked all the tickets for our holiday to the Maldives. 2 weeks on the beach. I cannot wait. That is the real motivation for getting well as I won't do anything to compromise our holiday. Am preparing the packing already. Also, will be taking suggestions for a big order from Amazon. Need atleast a dozen big thick books to take with- last time I made the mistake of thinking that I would just borrow books from the hotel's library. The "library" consisted of two shelves in the lobby of the hotel, the majority of which appeared to be harlequin romances in either russian or japanese. After 5 days I was so desperate for something to read that I was stalking anglophone guests around the pool- if I spied a book with the book mark anywhere in the last third I popped over to make my introductions, begging to trade them/pay them/ provide sexual favors for first dibs on the book when they finished. No wonder B changed his mind about paying for my diving lessons- anything was better than watching me prostitute myself out for a month old Heat magazine.

My suitcase will be mostly books, and not a lot else. Need a new swimsuit (have only got my black Eres which is still in good shape but I feel like something a bit bright- found a Melissa Odabash which is cute but want to go through the shops tomorrow as well), some sandals, a hat, a sarong or two, a barrel of sunscreen (I think the hotel shop sells it for something like 30 dollars a bottle, insane, so running out is not an option), another barrel of Nuxe Huile Prodigeuse, and some sunglasses. Should have bought some in the sale but am thinking maybe I can score a good pair at the airport in Doha? Its going to be my birthday while we are on holiday so I certainly should be allowed to pick out a new pair of sunglasses, despite my pathetic history of loosing expensive sunglasses within minutes of purchase.

Good thing I have the beach to look forward to. I don't know if it was getting sick that did it or if it is just that time of year. It just seemed like everything was going so badly. The apartment sale, the apartment hunt, my job search, lots of friends leaving Paris, stupid little things going wrong, etc. B and I actually got in such a big argument last weekend that I really thought that I would have to pack my bags, I was wondering which of my friends would let me spend a few nights on their sofa. We sorted it out, but even that went badly since I ended up deathly ill and we sort of put it aside for later. Its always fun to know that there is a big fight waiting in the wings to finished up.

Must try and remember to just deal with one thing at a time. I desperately need to get my papers together if I am going to try to apply for a course next year so that is my number one priority. Even feeling overwhelmed by that at this stage. But I fear I will feel even more suicidal if September roles around and I have no project in site. Anyways, no chance of my killing myself now- stress and illness have helped me attain my lowest weight since 2003. Again, with the silver lining. Who can be sad when they are wearing size 36 Joseph trousers?