Its a small world

I have wasted the entire afternoon messing around on another one of these stupid networking sites. I have only found three people I know to make connections with so even more reason to call it a waste of time. This site claims to be very exclusive and have info for scoring invites to great parties/events. I don't know how true that claim is. I did manage to find out about a group of amateur art collectors that sounds like it might be fun. I contacted them and they sent me an invite for a party next week. Depending how next week shakes out, I might try going. Right now, all I want to do is spend a few nights laying on the sofa watching movies. If only the movie channels would cooperate and play something that I am interested in seeing. This afternoon, I stumbled across the movie Alexander and thought it might be fun to watch while I was pottering around the house. OMG, that was the worst movie I've seen in a long time. In all fairness, I only watched it for a few minutes every 20 minutes or so, but it never seemed to improve much. We have got to find away to get better movies on TV. We don't have a pay-per-view option on our cable, which is a shame. There aren't any video stores around here and there are so many films that I want to see but never get a chance, due to the baby/babysitter thing. I was so jealous when my girlfriend from Hong Kong was telling me about how nice it is to have full-time live-in help. Can you imagine? No advance planning necessary for a night out, you could just pick up your keys and walk out of the house, whenever the fancy took you. Spent a fruitless hour last night over dinner trying to convince B to move to Asia. He is a true Frenchman, however, and could only point to the lack of good bread as a insurmountable stumbling block.

So, off to knitting group tonight. I don't think that I have touched my knitting in the last 3 weeks. It sits there, on the side table in the living room, glowering at me. I really really really want to finish that stupid sweater for Ella, and I purposely didn't buy her a pink sweater in my last shopping spree for the very reason that I am knitting her one. But its so hard! I was fine, so long as all I had to do was back and forths of the same stitch. Now, I have to start counting and reading patterns and blah blah blah- its too hard. I need a resident knitting grandma to give me realtime advice. OR better yet, to bossily grab it out of my hands when I start going wrong and knit all the hard parts for me. Do you think it would be worth putting up an ad on Craigslist?

No time to recover

I got out of bed this morning, to the tap!tap!tap! of the builders next door. The good news is that the apartment upstairs has apparently almost been completed- and the owners sent everyone in the building orchids to say sorry for the noise. I don't have to tell you that they are not French- and the bad news is that the ravalement of the building next door has just begun. Thank god I don't have the social life I used to (meaning not so many hangovers or the need to sleep in and catch up on my sleep) or I would be pulling my hair out by now.

Not only do they start making noise at 8:30 every morning, but they wander around on the scaffolding just outside my kitchen window. Since I don't have curtains in the kitchen, I have been trying to remember that I will need to grab my robe before stumbling into the kitchen to make Ella's early morning bottle. Have only been moderately successful in this task. I don't know which is worse- the hot days when I am caught in all my glory in my birthday suit trying to decipher the buttons on the microwave when my eyes are still stuck shut from sleep, or the cold mornings when I am caught wearing a ratty old T-shirt and gym socks.

I was only about halfway through my morning coffee when the phone rang. "What time did I want to meet?" I was too sleepy to even try and cover up my complete confusion. Turns out that on Saturday night, I made plans to meet up with two friends this afternoon for a tour around Pompidou... or something. My friend sounded a bit miffed that I had so totally forgotten about this plan and so I quick threw in the old "No, thats not it. I just thought it was Tuesday today. THATS why I was so confused when you called. Of course, I remember the plan!" Actually, I might have been a bit drunk that night? I didn't think so. Restaurant was lovely but totally packed and since we were 9 people, we were emptying bottles of wine much faster than the waiter was bringing refills. I actually think I just wasn't listening at all, and just agreed heartily to cover up my wandering attention. Oops. Lesson learned.

All I wanted to do this afternoon was take a nap and then get my legs waxed. The nap will have to wait, but I will be ditching the expo as soon as is possible to swing by the new Body Minute over on rue Saintonge in the 3rd. I have a special coupon for 15 euro off, to use by the 19th so I absolutely have to go.

And now I just found out that I have another birthday party to go to on Saturday night. Once again, I was apparently invited ages ago and completely spaced out about it. Note to self: Must start actually listening when people speak to me. Or possibly make an appointment to be fitted for a hearing aid. Its not that I don't love celebrating my friends birthdays, but why oh why did so many of them have to be born in mid-May? Are these all the summer holiday babies? Can think of no other reason for the population explosion.


OK- already running behind schedule for this afternoon. Life of leisure, my ass.

No time to recover

I got out of bed this morning, to the tap!tap!tap! of the builders next door. The good news is that the apartment upstairs has apparently almost been completed- and the owners sent everyone in the building orchids to say sorry for the noise. I don't have to tell you that they are not French- and the bad news is that the ravalement of the building next door has just begun. Thank god I don't have the social life I used to or I would be pulling my hair out by now.

Not only do they start making noise at 8:30 every morning, but they wander around on the scaffolding just outside my kitchen window. Since I don't have curtains in the kitchen, I have been trying to remember that I will need to grab my robe before stumbling into the kitchen to make Ella's early morning bottle. Have only been moderately successful in this task. I don't know which is worse- the hot days when I am caught in all my glory in my birthday suit trying to decipher the buttons on the microwave when my eyes are still stuck shut from sleep, or the cold mornings when I am caught wearing a ratty old T-shirt and gym socks.

I was only about halfway through my morning coffee when the phone rang. "What time did I want to meet?" I was too sleepy to even try and cover up my complete confusion. Turns out that on Saturday night, I made plans to meet up with two friends this afternoon for a tour around Pompidou... or something. My friend sounded a bit miffed that I had so totally forgotten about this plan and so I quick threw in the old "No, thats not it. I just thought it was Tuesday today. THATS why I was so confused when you called. Of course, I remember the plan!" Actually, I might have been a bit drunk that night? I didn't think so. Restaurant was lovely but totally packed and since we were 9 people, we were emptying bottles of wine much faster than the waiter was bringing refills. I actually think I just wasn't listening at all, and just agreed heartily to cover up my wandering attention. Oops. Lesson learned.

All I wanted to do this afternoon was take a nap and then get my legs waxed. The nap will have to wait, but I will be ditching the expo as soon as is possible to swing by the new Body Minute over on rue Saintonge in the 3rd. I have a special coupon for 15 euro off, to use by the 19th so I absolutely have to go.

And now I just found out that I have another birthday party to go to on Saturday night. Once again, I was apparently invited ages ago and completely spaced out about it. Note to self: Must start actually listening when people speak to me. Or possibly make an appointment to be fitted for a hearing aid. Its not that I don't love celebrating my friends birthdays, but why oh why did so many of them have to be born in mid-May? Are these all the summer holiday babies? Can think of no other reason for the population explosion.


OK- already running behind schedule for this afternoon. Life of leisure, my ass.

Visitors

It seems like every year in May, we are spoiled with visitors and this year we have an especially full calendar. Last night, we had over our friends from Hong Kong. They said that their daughter Bella had been chatting all day about going to visit her friend Ella. Ella, of course, just gave me a baffled look when I tried to talk about it. BUT when they walked in, Ella immediately started shouting and dancing in circles in excitement. I couldn't believe that she really remembered who Bella was, although I don't know why. I think that since she looks so much like B, I just assume that she has inherited all this characteristics, one of which is a remarkably short memory (he will heatedly deny this, but trust me. I live with the man and I tell you, there are laboratory rats with better recall.) Anyways, they definitely remembered how to play together and had every single toy in the house emptied onto the floor in Ella's room within about 20 minutes. After that, they did laps through the living room/dining room, chasing and giggling, occasionally crashing spectacularly into the furniture and comparing boo-boos.

It was sweet to see that they there is a mutual adoration. Ella follows Bella around with big adoring eyes while Bella wants to try out everything that Ella has/does. So Bella, despite being perfectly used to the big potty insisted on using Ella's little one. Apparently she did an enormous poo and then tried to put it in the big toilet. I'll just cut this story short and say that we needed an entire back of Chlorox wipes and a change of clothes before she could leave the bathroom. Never a dull moment when these friends come to visit. Anyways, that is why in the photo Bella is wearing this funny hooded robe and Ella is in her pyjamas. If one girl got to be naked, the other immediately had to tear her clothes off. If one of them had to put on night clothes, well, we had better dig out another set tout de suite.

The night ended with both of them laying in Ella's crib, fighting over the duvet and reading story books. They are so sweet together and I am completely disgusted with the photos that I took. This is just about the best one and doesn't capture their cuteness at all.

It sounds like all we did was chase after dirty children all night and try to keep them from committing hari kari on the coffee table. Not at all. We parents had plenty of time to work through the three bottles of wine on the table. God, I forgot how much my liver works when I am with Elizabeth! She is as mad as ever. I found out that the broken foot she mentioned in one of her emails was nothing less than the result of falling off a bar at the end of a drunken night out. See this is what is the matter with my social life here in Paris- no one I go out with would be likely to have that injury. But, you know, I wouldn't even mind ending the night in the ER if it was for a good cause like drunken revelry. I have decided that I will be using up my next batch of air miles to fly out to Hong Kong, next time I see a promotion on flights. And if I don't come home on crutches, I will consider the trip wasted!

Guignols

On Sunday afternoon we went to the Place du Marché Ste Catherine to see the guignols, a traditional French puppet show, in a tent that had been set up for the weekend. I am going to guess that this was not as good as it gets because Ella ended up getting so bored after a half hour that we snuck out the back (quite literally, actually. We were in the last row so now way of getting to the door; instead, we lifted up the canvas and crawled out). It was a bit silly- most of the kids were around 2 or 3 years old, but instead of having the puppets up and acting things out, they kept leaving the "stage" empty while a voice described what was going on off set. Bizarre. Here in the photo, Ella is wondering where the bad guy went. Then she really screamed loudly when the baddie kept peaking his head around the corner, when the curé wasn't looking. So funny! Only, we had to pay 6 euro per person to get in, and I can promise you that B and I did not have 6 euro worth of fun, trying to keep a squirrelly 2 year old in her seat for 45 minutes.

Big change of plans for next year

I am so disappointed. I just got an email from the masters program that I had applied to telling me that I hadn't been accepted. They did attach a brochure for a similar program that is run through the same school (in conjuction with another foreign university) and ask that I apply for that course instead. I had a quick look through the information and its true that the actual program might interest me more, but the price tag is pretty high. I'm pretty unconvinced that it would be worth it for me to pay that much money, considering that I am doing the course more out of intellectual curiousity rather than a real job market need.

I'm trying not to get too sad about it all because there are two other courses that I applied to with the same application and I think that they may be sending their decisions separately. And I even if I had gotten accepted, I didn't know how I would pay so I hadn't gotten myself really committed to the idea of going back to school. But I think that I had sort of stopped thinking about any other possibilities for the next year, which sort of makes this a bigger disappointment than I thought it would be. At this point, I would really really enjoy studying again. I've never been a Great Thinker but motherhood has almost definitely melted my brain a little bit. Between nearly killing myself with the microwave the other day and my inability to open childproof medicine bottles, I'm wondering whether my IQ has drifted into the double digits.

Like I said, I need to look through this new brochure and I need to find out what is going on with the other courses before doing anything more. I'm just still feeling really blah and the energy that it takes to make plans is more energy than I can manage right now. Ella is sick today so I think that these last few days I was actually fighting off some bug and not just feeling tired from my little vacation.

BUT on a more positive note, Ella has started potty training herself. Just before I left on holiday, she came up to me and said "Maman! Potty!!" We ran in the bathroom, where her little potty had been sitting unused for months, I turned her around, lifted up her dress and saw that she had already taken off her diaper (I still don't know what she did with it... ). I sat her on the potty and, like a pro, she did her business, reached for some toilet paper, wiped herself, and then threw it in the big toilet and flushed. Since then, I have been leaving her diaper off when in the house and she has been using the toilet. We've had a few little accidents, like one morning she asked for the potty and then said no. But when I saw the look on her face (concentrated stare into the distance) I grabbed her and dashed to the toilet. When we got there, she did a little poop but still was frantically shouting "potty". I kept saying, "No, its fine. We're done." and she was getting more and more nervous. Finally, I realized that it was because there was an enormous turd in the leg of her pyjama pants. B and I conferred as long as we could over how exactly to get it out, since Ella was completely freaking out about it by this time. I regret to report that all three of us needed a bath after a disasterous extraction plan. Clearly we are all novices at this potty training thing.

All the same, I did risk a trip to the park on Thursday with no diaper, and Ella did super. She refused to pee behind a tree (I was getting nervous over how long she had been playing and was trying to avoid having to clean the entire stroller) and instead held it til we got home. We then tried going to daycare with no diaper, but she only managed to tell the workers after the fact, so fairly close to success but not quite there. Still, we've only been at it for about a week now so I am pretty happy with how its going.

Of course, one of the hurdles we still have to get over is the fact that she doesn't like wearing panties. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it, since I figure it is more of a detail. However, yesterday at playgroup, we were trying to take some photos of the kids. Ella had taken off her underwear, so while she was smiling nicely in the center of the photo with all the other kids, her pose was just a bit...x-rated. Not sure anyone will be printing out those shots to pin up on the refridgerator. Like I said, I'm trying to just ignore it for now, but possibly next week I'll have to start working on a scheme to keep her from flashing her cha-cha at the world and his wife everytime we leave the house.

Supermom has left the building

I guess the post-holiday Supermom disguise has already been abandoned. We had only been home from school about 10 minutes before I was fed up with Ella's antics and sent her to bed with no lunch. In all fairness, she had had a piece of cheese and a few drinks of smoothie, which is about all she manages to eat on a good day when I give her a full half-hour at the table, but still. She wanted to watch a cartoon and instead of trying to say 'TV' she started grunting and pointing. Not only was this a regression, since she has already managed to say 'TV', but when I told her to use words and not baby talk, she got mad and first started to pout and then tried to throw her dinner at me. She had been whining and acting difficult since I picked her up at daycare so I had had more than enough. Off to bed.

In all fairness, I am a bit cranky from a sore tooth. I have never had my wisdom teeth out because every time I have gone to a doctor complaining about things, they take an x-ray and show me how the teeth are still in the jaw bone. Since it only is a bit painful every 6 months or so, I figure I will put up with it and maintain full nerve sensation in my mouth. I am a firm believer that there is no point looking for trouble.

I just erased a paragraph about Ella and her speech and the new book that I just read about Late Talkers (which was both reassuring and worrying in equal parts) but I am getting bored thinking about it and I'm sure that it is boring to read about, so enough.

I need to get so much done this afternoon and while I am not exactly jetlagged, I'm feeling really really lazy. I am sick of eating out, ordering in, or scrounging around the freezer for food but am absolutely not interested in going to the grocery store. Bleh.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

Who's been reading too much Mother Goose? Thanks Elle. Thanks a lot.

Of course, when you abandon your only child for five days of drunken revelry on the other side of the globe, it is the price you pay. Unlimited patience and undivided attention for atleast the first 48 hours. We have also been reading lots of "Mr Brown can moo, can you?" Still have not found a satisfactory sound for lightening. Ella looks pretty unconvinced as well. Although Dr Suess is a definitely AP Mothering. All those rhymes and sounds. Frankly, the pictures get me a bit creeped out. I hate all those fuzzy, long-necked, googly-eyed animals in his books. Anyways. Ella has had her way with me for too long. Must crack down before she thinks that this change is permanent. This morning, she sat in her stroller, "La, maman. LA!" when I tried to turn the 'wrong' way. We ended up at the Garde Republicaine, watching them exercise their horses. We only went their once when she was about 13 months old but somehow she has remembered that the horses live there. One other day she dragged me over, but we found out it was too hot for the horses to be out. Today we sat there for about 30 minutes watching. Every time they came past Ella would squeal (and by squeal, I do mean squeal) "Anah!" That means "another".

Little Miss E is at daycare and so I am trying to get through my mountain of emails and sort out all the papers I have laying here. I have our Ireland holiday with my parents to book. We had all been certain that the wedding we are planning around was on the 21st of July. Just before dropping the check in the mail for the house, we found out it was the 28th. So I get to start over from the beginning. I suppose better that than sending of the money only to realize the mistake when the invite arrives in the post. Atleast this vacation will be all planned out in advance, it is lots easier than trying to sort it out day by day. I honestly think it is harder traveling with people who are up for anything than people who have specific ideas about what they want to do. It always ends up with me throwing the guidebook at the wall while shouting about how I am not the tour guide and stomping off in a huff. This generally helps, for about 12 hours, after which I am once again the tour guide. There is a downside to being known as the Bossy One in the family.

Just returned an email to a friend of mine living in Carcassone and it looks like we will be going down to visit for a few days at the end of the month. I don't know this area at all and when I found out that an old school friend had moved there, I was really excited. B, being French, doesn't really see the point of vacationing in France. The only time I manage to rope him into a trip to les provinces is when I have friends of family visiting and I can pass it off as their request. We will probably be taking a train, which I think is super fun. Always feels to me like I am starring in a Hitchcock film when I climb on a train. Plus, you get to see lots of the countryside. And since the trains are mainly TGV, it only takes a bit longer than it would in a plane. Best thing about this trip is that my friend is currently running a B & B so all I have to do is book the train tickets and I am done. After the 8000 emails I have sent off to arrange our stay in Ireland, its a welcome reprieve.

Already time to go and get Ella. Sigh. I didn't even get a chance to write about my fabulous girly holiday. I got a hot-rock massage which was AMAZING. I think that this was the sexiest massage I have ever had. B is not really big on giving me massages but this put me so in the mood that I might have to get him a crock pot, a jug of oil, some big smooth rocks and explain whats in it for him... Amazing. Did I say that already? A 3 hour mani/pedi. Again, heaven. Probably wouldn't have taken so long if I had been a bit more careful about knocking my fingers against the table. Ooops. Long lunches. Boozy dinners. A night out drinking with the groomsmen, ending with tacos from a dodgy taco stand. No surprise that I was up puking at 4 am. And I still managed to make it through Wedding Day with no problem- something not likely to happen if I had had a toddler screaming at me at 8 am and hanging from my neck for the rest of the day. So even that was fun (although I hope to never do it again. 32 is officially too old for that shit). Sprawling across the big cozy feather bed instead of having to share nicely. List goes on and on. Only downside was Houston airport, where I got stuck on both trips. On the way there, my bags were lost, I stood around in customs for ages sorting it out, then spent 30 minutes going through security, thereby missing my flight. I had to fly into San Fran and take a taxi to my hotel at midnight. Fun.
Way back? Luggage cart hits the airplane, damaging it so badly that it can't fly and then I get to spend 4 hours wandering the halls trying to spend my 8 dollar meal voucher. You are too generous, Continental. Suffice it to say, I have seen enough of Houston and hope never to go back. Which reminds me, I have some letters to write for reimbursement. By this point in my travel history, I have a standard "My flight sucked. Let me list the ways..." letter saved on my hard drive.

california wedding

Am in CA having the BEST time. No husband, no baby, drunk at 5 in the evening. I've been to the spa everday and I am beyond relaxed. I had a hot stone massage yesterday that was absolutely amazing. Have you had one of those? I am a great big floppy jellyfish. This is awesome.

Honestly, best wedding that I have ever been to. I love Los Gatos. This town is crazy. 27,000 people and they have a Bentley dealership as well as one for Lamborgini and Ferrari. There are about 20 different spas, plus 17 hair salons and 9 shops which do only nails and waxing. Somein' for the boys and somein' for the girls. I have the choice of 6 different gyms and still, it looks like an old time village, with a main street and town square. I had the most gorgeous little mini croissant amande yesterday with a cafe au lait (with soy milk- try ordering that at your neighborhood cafe in Paris). Had breakfast today in an oldfashioned diner, hash browns with sausage and cheese, spicy salsa on the side. SOOOO good.

Best thing of all? the bride and groom. Honestly, I think they are a perfect couple. I really see them going for the long haul. Its so so nice to be able to believe, you now? Weddings always egt me a bit schmoopy. But these two really seem like they have found their match. i can't imagine my girlfriend being able to find anyone else who suits her who so perfectly as this guy. And he seems so absolutely head over heels in love with her, I am almost jealous.

Only down side is the weather which is cold and cloudy, such a shock after Paris. Need to go and change for dinner.

Death by microwave

Holy fuck - I am dying right now as the result of a freak accident with my microwave. I put in a coffee mug with some soy milk for one minute as I do every morning. But today, I used a white mug and not the usual orange mug, which apparently skewed the laws of physics and instead of reaching in and grabbing a tepid mug with warm milk I wrapped my fingers around a sizzling cup of lava, thereby frying my thumb through to the bone. Two hours later I can barely remove the ice for more than 20 seconds before I start to get dizzy from the pain. I have never in my life been burned this badly. This is the weirdest thing ever. And it really really hurts. Did I mention that?

edited: Uhm, maybe I was over-reacting a bit? Its an hour and a half later and I was able to abandon my ice bag for long enough to go have a coffee with B and Ella at the cafe downstairs. I'm feeling like I might actually recover from this tragic accident. Maybe it was all the kisses that Ella gave me. She is incredibly impressed by my enormous bandage and keeps pointing sadly to my thumb, shaking her head as she says, "Oh no. Boo-boo." Then I make a sad face back and let her kiss it better. Mommy kisses work magic on her boo-boos, so why not the reverse?