I'm baffled

I'm baffled as to why otherwise sane women that I know would choose to do without a cleaning lady when they have the means to pay for one. Honestly, three hours a week only costs something like 30 euro. For a measly 30 euro, who would choose to clean their toilets, scrub the floor, change the bedsheets, and iron their husband's shirts themselves? This isn't about any person in particular, its just sort of a general befuddlement that I have had for awhile now. Granted, some people might wonder why I need to have a cleaner for 9 hours a week (3 hours Monday, Wednesday, and Friday), when I live in a shoe box and don't work outside the home (so one could argue that I have nothing else to do with my time but clean and iron). Fair enough- three times a week is maybe a bit excessive but I've gotten used to things being really orderly so now it would be impossible to scale back . Besides, I feel like there are a million other things to do with my time besides clean. How unimaginative must you be to not be able to find better things to do than clean? Hmm. Very curious.

Of course, today for the first time ever, I had a babysitter come to take care of Ella so I could do something for myself on a Saturday afternoon. Since B always works Saturdays, its really my least favorite day of the week. All my friends are busy doing family stuff with their husband. Their are lovey dovey couples everywhere you look. The shops are too full of working people frantically trying to cram a weeks worth of errands into one afternoon. I generally end up staying home or venturing no further than the park on the corner. So this was very a very exciting development, I had all kinds of suggestions for things for the two of them to do to be sure that I would be free of Ella for the entire afternooon, and how did I end up spending my three free hours? I actually went to the grocery store to do a massive shop and then I sat home to wait for the delivery. I know, I know- what was that about lacking imagination? But what do you do when there is not a scrap of food left in the house and the shops are closed all day Sunday?

Actually, there was techinically enough food in the house to get us through til Monday but the problem is that I am on this crazy diet and unless I have all the allowed foods in stock, I tend to go a bit crazy and tear into the old Easter candy. Is it any wonder that I have only lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks despite being Miserable and feeling completely Deprived? I'm the worst dieter ever. I finally decided that even though I was weak with hunger I had to start including some serious exercise into my day otherwise this would be the Diet That Never Ends. At this point, I would be happy to lock myself in a sauna until I sweated off 4 more pounds in water weight just to see the magic number on the scale so I can stop dieting, for pete's sake. How desperate am I to just bloody loose a few more pound? So desperate that I very nearly bought a package of dodgy 'diet pills' at the parapharmacy yesterday. As if that would work, right. I was kind of hoping that there would be some sort of placebo affect, but then I realized that I didn't have enough cash and I couldn't bear having B see the charge on my card, forcing me to own up to my craziness. I could be crazy, just so long as there was no paper trail, I guess. Really, its the psychology of dieting that kills me. I could happily eat yogurt for breakfast, plain vegetable soup for lunch, and poached chicken with asparagus for dinner, washed down with a pot or two of green tea but serve me the same thing and call it a diet, suddenly I am dying of hunger and fighting with ella over the old M&M's we find in the bottom of my purse. Clearly, I don't need a trainer so much as a psychologist...

Anyways, I am going to have to fall off the wagon tonight since B made dinner reservations for us at Atelier du Maitre Albert. I love that place, although I think the the Venn diagram of traditional french brassierie cuisine and low-fat, no-carb eating would show zero overlap. Its going to be a long Sunday, if I am going to have to do penance by surviving on nothing but vegetable potage and green tea.

Another gorgeous day in Paris; I am out on the balcony right now watching the bateau mouche cruise up and down the river. Every single one of them is packed to the gills with tourists, but I can understand that because the boat tour of Paris is one my top recommendations to visiting friends. Everyone is in short sleeves and sunglasses. Ooooh- a bride and the wedding party just wandered past! I want to get married again and have the party on a boat! The ladies all look so pretty in their hats and summer dresses and the men look so hot in their suits and sunglasses. Hmm, for all my complaining about this small apartment and grimey grey irritating Paris, it can be really wonderful with Paris throwing these perfect Hollywood moments at me, when I least expect it.

Its so beautiful here on the balcony, once all the leaves fill out the trees- its like sitting on a fluffy green cloud. I'm thinking that I might just sneak a little glass of rose champagne from the bottle in the fridge because a sunny lazy Saturday afternoon like this one deserves to be celebrated a little. Ooops- spoke to soon. Ella just came to sit by me with her new drum set, all the better to admire her aural assault.